Thanks and Such

So I've been at my day job only 26 days so far and I'm already moved to a new department. It's neat. I'm in a call center taking orders and customer service calls. It's much more suited to me so I like it. Also-no uniform. That's a plus.

I ordered the most awesome present for SMB today. I doubt he still checks this, but just in case, no spoilers here. Suffice to say it really does feel good to get someone something you KNOW will make them smile. That's right: I was just sentimental. Almost. I really do have emotions sometimes. Even though I fight it.

I was waiting for the train today and looked up and there was Emmeline. I like how the big city can also be a small city. I like randomly running into friends on the street (or in the station) and I like that people visit all the time. I also like that people move here all the time.

I still don't know if I want to stay though. I am really having a hard time accepting this as any kind of permanence. If I let myself think about it for too long, I can feel my heart rate accelerate and my breathing gets a little shallower. Then I have to plot out my escape plan and distract myself before real panic sets in.

Lately EVERYONE keeps asking if I'm dating anyone. Is that just something that happens when you're in your (gulp) mid-twenties? You should be coupled up by now? I guess. Well, I'm not. I don't even know how to do that anymore. My life has been dictated by contracts and schedules for so long, real life seems strange and unattainable. Dating? Pshaw. Guess I could work on that.

I had an awesome Thanksgiving, by the way. I spent the afternoon/evening/night with a few college friends and their family and close friends. 9 of us altogether. The one kid there who didn't have a Viterbo connection kept double checking: "You're ALL from the same place? You ALL know each other?" Anyway-it was great. Nolan made the most amazing food, Brit (and her cousin) coordinated a wonderful gathering, and we played one of the best games of Celebrity ever. Oh-and we had cherpumple. That's a cherry pie in a chocolate cake, a pumpkin pie in a spice cake, and an apple pie in a yellow cake-layered together in something sinful and strange.

(I promise: someday I will try to blog about one subject at a time. I mean...I promise I'll try.)

To Unfriend...or Not?

Why is it such a big deal to unfriend someone on Facebook? I won't even pretend like it isn't...because it is. I went through a mega friend purge last year and deleted almost 100 people and when I told my real-life friends, they were shocked. How could I?

I had specific criteria. A person only got deleted if a) I hadn't seen them in over 10 years and we never communicated past the friend request moment, b) we weren't friends in real life, nor would we ever speak again (or ever) in real life, or c) they just flat out irritated me. (<3 lol :) ;) etc. are not necessary in EVERY post.) If someone met said criteria-they were gone. What's the big deal? Not one of those people has re-requested me...they probably don't even realize we aren't friends any longer.

It makes sense to me. But what if someone doesn't meet this criteria and you still want to unfriend them? What if every time they pop up on your news feed, you feel a surge of rage...or pain? I'm talking ex-friends. Ex-boyfriends. Ex-people. Why bother holding on?

Maybe you drifted apart and you're too far away now to talk and it sucks and every time you see her posts, it just reminds you that you're not as close as you were and there's no getting that back. Or you see her squinty little eyes in her stupid drunk pictures and you want to punch her stupid face because she ISN'T lost at sea right now. Or every time you see his or his girlfriend's (because you're dumb and you're friends with her too) posts or pictures, it just hurts that you can't talk anymore because platonic friends don't exist.

Why is it such a big deal? Why is it so hard just to click that little X and confirm the deletion of friendship? If it doesn't exist in the real world, why hold on to it in the internet world?

Because humans are stupid and have feelings. Dammit...I'm human.

Lazy Day

I want to blog more. Today, a friend told me he was blogging for the first time in months. I stumbled across another friend's blog and it's clear she updates daily, always with insightful things. (Presumably...I only read 2 entries.) So here I am.

I did nothing today. The only reason I put on clothes that weren't my pajamas was to walk downstairs and 3 doors over to order Chinese food. It's the end of Week 2 of the Steady Day Job and I'm feeling it. Though I was also fighting a losing battle with a cold the last few days, which could explain my fatigue.

I was semi-productive though. I figured out what to get a friend for Christmas. I finished a hat (a gift for someone, not an Etsy item). I started a hat for myself since I'm constantly jealous of other knit hats and never make anything for myself.

Nope...that was it. Oh, I guess I did continue to drink copious amounts of green tea in an effort to rid my body of this cold. Bah. Emergen-C for breakfast tomorrow. And maybe a bedtime snack tonight. I'm so adventurous.

Really though...maybe I should challenge myself to blog daily. Nah, that'll never happen. Maybe at least 4 times a week? A sizeable goal. Maybe just once a week to start. Yeah. That's safe.

Worst Blogger Ever (or, an Octoberly update)

It's November...surprise! It's starting off pretty well. Highlights of October:

-Hung out a LOT with friend AraBella. We painted her room, ate a ton of Pinkberry, and made a few trips to Home Depot.

-Finished up the run of TESS: A New Rock Opera. (I was a Production Assistant, if you remember.) It was lots of fun and I was really sad to have missed the last performance, which was an added performance, because I was in Iowa.-Went to the best wedding ever in Minnesota. My good friends from college got married in an "Up" themed wedding and I flew across the country to go.

-Fetched my furniture and other miscellaneous possessions from Iowa and journeyed them cross-country to NYC. Now I feel vaguely trapped, but I like hanging things on the walls.

-Saw "A Life in the Theatre" (twice), "American Idiot", and "The Scottsboro Boys".

-Made a website for my SM side of life. Updated the Etsy site. Ordered some business cards. Y'know...in 48 hours.

-Went to the Great FoodPlay Reunion of 2010 (sans one Carlton Hall) and had a great time. You know it's a good night when a 4 hour dinner goes by like nothin'.

-Had SEVERAL random "small world" run ins all over the city. The guy from UCF who was at TESS strike, the former TSF co-worker who lives downstairs, and the girl at callbacks who is from Des Moines...to name a few.

-And one of the best parts: a surprise visit to Hershey! I tagged along and surprised some of my Chocolate Town favorites. Spent Halloween with them and even got to look for Sasquatch at the zoo.

So...November. It's shaping up rather well. My new show had callbacks yesterday so we should have a cast...like now. Rehearsals start soonly. Started a day job. Made an Etsy sale. Got together with some college friends, one of whom is visiting on his latest epic road trip. Of course, it's only a week in. Anything can happen. And I'm ready.